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A must see.   
06:09pm 01/03/2006
mood: content
The world's creepiest mantle! It's gotten even creepier since.


In other news, my life has been doing various 360z. To much to document. But digital cable will be the landslide to my already slippery social life!!1
12:54pm 09/10/2005
  I laughed alot yesterday. I keep seeing images of Chris Bell in 3D glasses walking like a crippled indentured servant past some pissed off whores. Don't listen to your mature side, ordering escorts and sending them to the house across the street IS funny. So was the christian tattooed biker wedding at my restaurant lastnight.  
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confessions of a germ   
04:43pm 25/08/2005

The wind is whipping around outside and we are hoping to hold onto our poor little roof. Me and Ma keep standing on the front porch watching the winds gust and jump inside like retards whenever a bolt of light flashes.

Vacation was fun. Didnt drink there much, really, I havent felt like it lately. Same with smoking. Riding threw the Christian plauged slums of Florida makes for a good laugh. I really enjoy Gainesville, it felt nice, homely. You can walk everywhere, people are young and friendly, and every house is cute as a button. Nora and Michelle, your house is sweet.  Devils Hole is one in a million. You've got to float down a river, its exhilirating. I miss Bugens McGriddle, kitty extrodinare. He was a prince an a half.

I'm off work till Monday, which dosent mean much. I think my car got killed in a drunk driving accident. I want to sell it at a garage sale and buy like 5 Hummers. Lastnight I was reading InTouch and watching Entertainment Tonight. Is that wrong? Can't wait for L word season II on DVD. October, niggars.

Lastnight I made a necklace to honor our family's ugly japanese monkey/dog. Remeber those little peices of plastic you configure together, then iron? Yeah, thats a trip to walmart for ya.

Goofy shit.Collapse )

Double question mark with a half twist.   
09:12pm 09/08/2005
mood: cold
I'm having some dilemmas, all of which I could careless to care about, thats the problem. I just want to be a trapper!

Okay, so, we all know I love my deadend job...but I've been personally requested to join another line of work. I don't know what to do. This job could have me movin on up and help me get into the know-how of the plant business. Could be good if we decide to make a tree farm out of random purchased land up north. Plus, my uncle is gonna start hauling trees for the guy that runs the place. The thing is, its long hours, say 50+ a week. I am use to having the bendable, whatever goes, type deal. But the poor restaurant is going down soon. So I'm guessing I should suck it up and take the grown-up job. Shit, I'd be rollin in smackers. Another downer is, I'd have to work with Tony, eck. He's this creepy guy, like happy & cheesy creepy, and he likes me. I could just say I'm a mega dyke! What to do..

That whole week off work is coming up, woo. Gainesville, woo. I just wanna float down a creek with a 40oz. Laura and I, our forces combined, can acheieve this goal. -theres been an interuption in my desire spurting- My mother just walked in the kitchen loudly clapping while yelling out demands, wearing a saftey patrol belt. This woman totally is responsible for spawning me, godbless. We made an answering machine message for the phone today and it was hilarious. She forgot to stop the recording and there is silence for awhile then you can hear bigboykitty meow loudly in the background. Fuck, it was so comically white trash I put it on my cellphone. I dunno, maybe you had to be there. Also, my uncle brought some couch and dumped it in the garage. Listen to this; He got it from "Smitty", this guy that owes him money for losing bets or something. Apparently it wasnt even his couch, it was his sisters! Haha, a drunk that gambles away his family's furniture! Priceless. This same week he scored a shitty van off some deadbeat dad. Now my brother's got a work van that looks like it runs off crackrocks!1 Bro and this guy SNAIL started a shutter buisness with the help of old uncle. My uncle is to nice. He'd prolly let someone break-even by giving him thier fucking used toilet paper.

I wanna go to Kashmir tomorrow. Come on ladykillers, lets go dick slinging and tit grabbing. This cowgirl that comes in the restaurant in hot tight jeans keeps asking me to go clubbing with her. I'd rather not frighten her, but I've really been interested in what these honkytonk clubs have that makes them so fun. Renegades, anyone? Maybe I should just bring her out with me one night, haha thatd be a sight.

Burr, can a niggar get a jacket, or get the thermostat jacked up.
Who really runs the south?   
05:56pm 16/07/2005
mood: overly zealous

I have the woobie at my mamas house. Arielle went to New York on a whim. I wish I coulda gone. Tonight I'm partying close to home. Its seems as though Bones and Sean finally got their shit set. Plus, they have big boy fireworks! Its gonna be an interesting mix. My brother went to get a bottle. Yeeow. Mommy comes home tomorrow.  Heres some pictures of my life. Summer brings out true hilarity in us all.

Living easy.Collapse )

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Most cherished creature.   
07:43pm 06/07/2005
mood: swan dive.

Today a freak accident, some call it the world, cashed the life out of my cat. She was my heart. Always there whenever I needed her and loved me no matter what I did wrong.


Boy, she was smoken hot.Collapse )

I'm feeling a power boost of self-destructive energies, as if it wasnt bad enough before. Who knows what I'll do now. Prepare for my wrath, its gonna be an amusing show.

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Be straight thug living here.   
06:17pm 05/07/2005
mood: absinth minded
So I'm not dead yet. This comes as a big surprise to myself. I will soon be sending out invitations to my funeral. You are now entering south florida, where morals are endangered species. Can't stop, won't stop.

After the McClarens got cashed I went to mommy's house to smoke little joints and pass out. Upon pulling up I see these girls weaving down the street with these elaborate girly drinks in hand. Sweet, my brother knows'um. I think I might have blew their minds. Anyways, the whole point of this is that my brother made us all drinks and brought them outside on a fucking tray. It was priceless. After that I was wrecked out of my skull. Making it through today was a task. I just kept my hat bent down and avoided all eye contact.

I'll close with some classic Matthew Moody quotes:

"Everytime I see you you're with a friend and they got the hiccups."
"How come you always be stayin by a keg."
"I saw her at Wings Plus. That bitch was looking nastier than ever. And her brother, my god YO, its like the bitches neck always be tryin to catch up with him. Lookin like a turkey. God musta had some special plans for them."

Listen, theres always something to celebrate.
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Shoot me up.   
05:40am 03/07/2005
mood: out of control.
Hello, its 5:30am!!!11 I just walked into my mother's house, mind you she's on a two week vacation. Three gentlemen are passed out on the couch surrounded by at a huge freezer bag full of weed. I walk into the kitchen and there's a more than half full bottle of parrot bay. Also, Taco Bell is scattered around the house. BROTHER, do you not know how to party? My god!1... I left my Remy Martin in a large convertion van. Tomorrow I will overdose on party. Thank you. Godbless. Tonight I watched all my friends frolic half naked in a pool. I picked the lock to the bathrooms!11 I love you, wifey, Miss Jessica Reed. I've got the next two days to kill you.... Nice tits. Cash money models drink till they throw up, which is never.
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we aint learned howda act.   
09:02pm 26/06/2005
mood: swell
RULE. Today I hung out with my brother and matt, rode in a pimped out cadillac. My brother is loaded with weed. Rolled a blunt, drank some rum. Drove the golf cart to CJ's bar. Huge party, it was hilarious. All the Delray Beach drunks were out. Matt wore his huge cadillac pendent. To funny. Then we watched Annie and my brother sang every song. He asked Matt if he had Mary Poppins, cause he totally wanted to borrow it. Saw the preview for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, shit looks tight.

When I turned my phone on this morning I had a message. It was from John, he and Chris apparently got a keg at 7 in the morning. Love it. Lastnight after Elvis's keg went dry Jacin and Chris got more beer. It was the most twelve packs I'd ever seen purchased at once. Then everyone got in the pool and it looked like something out of a movie. Dance until you die of heat exhaustion. Convince everyone that its a shit your pants party. Touch the birthday girls ass whenever you see her. Do the godforsaken pee dance. (Donald don't leave) Josephine got the guy that works at the gas station's number. I woke up with it in my shirt. Hilarious. Renee I'm going to kill your vocal cords for this one.
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half the time overtime all the time   
03:58pm 20/06/2005
mood: scattered
I went into the resturant to help clean up today and the news was goddamn there again. Watch news 12, niggas. Then the post came in and took pictures of Lupe and I. Had to get some degreaser from the auto part store and pick up a pizza, so Lupe let me take his pimped out F-150. Its so loud and awesome, my dick was hard the whole time. Made my day.

This weekend ruled. My bro hung out. Uber punk rock party, woo. Saw my daddy Sean out of nowhere randomly in West Palm. Josephine's mini van = a comedy club. Group foot massages. Sunday... The swap shop is out of this country. Literally. You need a passport to visit that place. Boynton mall, saw lots of our loser friends. Lost Donald to the drills and took fucked up pictures in the photobooth. Found out how to score free gumballs!

Bones just called me and told me that Sean's good friend got alcohol poisoning and was throwing up in his sleep and now is in a coma. You gotta understand, when it rains it pours. Rain on. I'LL REIGN ON. Shit don't faaaaze me.

My brothers closet is filled with white tees, just a long row of white teeness. I have to take a picture.
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Just a bunch of wack-jobs, and it's beautiful.   
06:22pm 14/06/2005
  This past weekend was to fun, god I don't know how I'm alive. But really, why can't we have outdoor daytime drinking of kegs every weekend? I was out of my fucking mind the whole time. Met some cool people from Miami, random drunk mexican Kane found that ended up wearing that huge sombrero, and all the people I've always appreciated before.

Went to see my dad in the hospital yesterday. He said the funniest thing, I wrote it down on the spot. "Of all the cancers I could have gotten, I picked the best one. Asshole cancer is the bomb." I'm sorry, but that is awesome. Met his wife for the first time and I actually really liked her. She can hardly speak english and doesnt have a social security number, but shes extremely intelligent and witty. Plus, she likes my dad and looks to have made him happier.

I ended up falling asleep on my moms couch and waking up to the morningness. Decided to make a myspace cause its where its at. Found some random clothes and that hat I was wearing when I was fucked up out of my mind saturday. When I walked into work Debbie thought I was a wandering boy. Lunch came around and freaking Jesse Bedner pulls up in a yellow school bus. I'm sorry, but come on Renee.. you were there.. that shit was hilarious. They were trying to pick up young girls.

These moments make me stay in constant Awe at life. Just wanted to share.
08:26pm 01/06/2005
mood: cashed
RAH! Today I ran at the gym for longtime, currently drenched in sweat. I can't get enough, such a release. Renee is in the shower and my brother is straight up getting down in the kitchen to the blasting Madonna cd Laura gave us for nothing at Goodwill. We cleaned that place out! Goin to sushi with the Fam, Renee, and Laura. Sublime Saturday with Bubbie, gonna be mega interesting.

Work is good, today I wore a chef hat and it made all the food we put out look so much more professional. Renee came and I served her a multiple course meal. After work I was pumped and cleaned my house. BUTCH HOUSE NIGGAS The dog lovesthe car so I took her to moms house with arielle cause my brother was dealin to us. GANGSTA

I'm gonna use my digital camera more cause these words look so boring.

AH people, im outttttt.
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Be careful, It's addictive.   
09:46pm 12/05/2005
mood: control? nah
When did I lose my stealing power. Its turning into buying power. I having a buying problem. I guess it sounds better than a stealing problem.

You know youve succumb to the world's ridiculousness when pop culture brings you joy. RADIO RAP.

Niggas in the hood sell anything for profit. My brother was a good brother and gave me lotsa mota for no mula. He even called me to ask me how it buuuuurned Tellin all these crazy stories about sellin crack at some whore house. ZING

Bransmart is hell, got some tv dvd player and hell it is.

doin stuff, hangin out, keg at my house this weekend? that could get interesting..

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you can find me chillin with bill   
07:54pm 21/04/2005
mood: can't stop, won't stop

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09:23pm 08/04/2005
mood: pumped
Moving! Our crew is assembled and we are gonna go drink hennessy and clean. So Excited. Bones is gonna be our bitch, hahaa. Then maybe go hang with Jason at his new fly ass casa. D-RAY KILLASSS.
ill have you like kanye west, with a brand new jaw and a metal chin.   
04:54pm 01/04/2005
mood: busy
Everyone come get drunk at The Rangeline. Or don't, but I'll be there till late. Tomorrow is cocktail hour with some beam and hennessey. Everyone better REP hard. Shaivo's dead, Pope is on his way, Baistow is unconfirmed, and Hedburg needs us to seriously throwdown. Lets drown in that shit!

I love my cat, the draining tubes make it even hotter. Laura and I's drunk adventure to pick her up just bout made my week.

Moving in about two weeks. He just keeps fixing it up and I honestly don't see anything wrong with it! Hey, not gonna complain though. Everyone is moving into awesome new houses, so much party capability!

I walked up to work today and my boss is already standing out back with his huge grill and a bud. Mind you, it was like 9:30am. "I've got us a nice bottle of Crown on ice, baby!" haha Tonight should be interesting.

What am I doing? Time to get back to work.
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AH, Life.   
04:43am 26/03/2005
mood: drunk and REPIN'
This my way of letting my City know
I'll ride for em. I'll Cry for em.
Bust five for em. And most of all, FUCKING DIE FOR EM!!


I'll ride for my muthafucking click.
I'll scramble heads with my muthafucking click.
If a nigga talk shit, Watch my shit go Click, Click, click, click, click!!11

Man, I've been on the grind,
1 in the head, 16 in the vagine
I'm extra, Man!
The game is mine, in due time.
It's all right, I'm patient Man!
I know how to play my position
I know how to play my part
I know how to play these bitches
I know how to play with they hearts
I've done some dumb things
But for the most,
I've played it smart

Who cares if you run things
Cuz I'm as live as Brady & Barwick!
This game is nothing,
But a pool of blood with a bunch of sharks! (sick waves bro)
Only the strong survive
It's Do or Die
Get it Right!
That's why I roll for my peoples.
Cock back, go to war with my peoples.
Break bread with my peoples.
That's why they respect everything that I do.. Everywhere that I go...Every friend or a foe.. Every bitch or a hoe.

SHIT, D-Ray niggas... it's do or die, get it right.

Kegs, creepy crawly's, and the vagina monolouges have brought this smile that graces my face.
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03:59am 24/03/2005
  Tracy put expensive makeup on me and butchered my eyebrows back into shape.

Classy bitch.Collapse )

We went to walmart for hairdye and sour patch kids and these crazy street kid carni lookin motherfuckers tryed to sell us magazines. Then they said we could join them in their van and travel allll over the U.S. making mad money. "Wild hotel parties everynight." They had creepy self done tattoos and rotted out teeth. Thanks walmart!

God, its late. My teeth hurt like a big stinky shit.
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nice crotch, care to sit on my face   
08:08pm 23/03/2005
mood: a bit off
RIP BABY KEE. Imma make him an off the chain headstone not made of stone.

My new hobby is "diamond" encrusting everything. I also have a mild interest in pre-pasted disposable toothbrushes.

Work has been slammin and the money is flowin. Plus the tax return check came in! This mean I can buy more useless crap, or maybe I should be saving? HAH

This random guy at my work gave me a napoleon dynamite shirt. He's so obsessed, even resights dialog and signed his credit card receipt "Napoleon Dynamite." Its only cute cause hes old.

Laura, you thought hotdogs were welfare-chic! check itCollapse )

Maybe I'll pierce my ears to REP some bling I recently accquired. My room is out of control. Stop buying shopping problem impending doom. I so know next years popular choice of most offbeat costume, TERRI's FEEDING TUBE. Nigggaaas

yeah, my shit rides.
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11:09pm 10/03/2005
mood: amused
I wish I was black so I could go to little cities and REP. REPIN Bismark! Madison, yo I got you.

Did anyone else go through that faze where you buried shit in your yard?

Life is pretty.

Tomorrow I wanna see YOU!
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